Let me set the scene: it was a stormy night up in the Italian hills. Silhouetted with each flash of lightning, was an ominous castle. As the town below slept, an engineer remained hard at work. Tonight was the perfect night for his creation to come to life. With ghastly machines popping and buzzing, he leaned over a table, fastening screws and cables to something familiar, yet unlike anything ever seen before. It looked as though pieces of bodies had been fused together to create one being. Looking over his work with a ghoulish grin, the engineer pulled a lever and raised the table up through a hole in the roof. The storm raged, and lightning struck the table and its contents repeatedly, until it glowed red.

It was ready.

After lowering the table, the engineer, now mad with anticipation, inserted a key into the neck of his work, pushed a small button on its arm — and it roared to life! His head dizzy with thoughts of the wonderful thing he’d done, he staggered over to the window and bellowed into the Italian night: “It’s … alive!” The Monster lives. This anonymous mad engineer, along with a few of his hunchbacked cronies, had remade Ducati’s iconic bike — the Monster 696.

Ducati’s naked standard came onto the scene in the early ’90s and created a huge stir. In the years after, the Monster formed a cult-like following and is undoubtedly the most popular bike the company has to offer.

No frills, just an engine, two wheels, and great performance. Ducati got the streetfighter look and ride right with the Monster, and its 2009 version is true to form. With its trademark trellis frame beefed-up and attached to an aluminum rear sub-frame, a meaty, matte-black swingarm keeping the rear end in place, and an exhaust tucked over the rear wheel, it’s a well- put-together machine. I love it when form follows function, and it’s obvious a lot of thought went into this new Monster. Clearly, Ducati didn’t just upgrade the motor, splash on some fresh paint, and add a fancy headlight. Small cutouts on each side of the tank, which give clearance to the bars and provide a little more air to the engine, are another cool feature that demonstrate how much work went into the details.

On the bike, the seating position is fairly comfortable; you’re not leaning over too far, but just enough to keep the ride aggressive. The seat is slightly angled to keep you in place at higher speeds, but sort of sends you into the tank when braking. However, I was having way too much fun leaning it over and pushing the little Monster through corners to worry about that.

I really can’t say enough about the Monster’s handling. This is where Ducati rises above the competition. The 696 is fixed with Showa 43mm inverted forks and a Sachs adjustable mono-shock holding up the rear. Basically, you can simply look at a turn, and the bike follows smoothly and quickly. It’s rock solid even at high speeds. Ducati sure didn’t cut any corners when it came to braking either. Check out those dual 320mm discs gripped by four-piston radial calipers up front, and a 245mm-disc, two-piston caliper out back. In other words, you can stop time with these brakes.

New for ’09, the heart that keeps this Italian stallion running is an adaptation of the previous 695. With a bunch of refinements, like heads similar to those on the 1100 Multistrada and Hypermotard and a revised combustion chamber that regulates how much juice gets burned, the power gets bumped up 9 percent to 80 hp, and the torque increased 11 percent to 50.6 ft-lbs. It’s a little rough at low rpm, but once you hit the higher revs and that distinctive Ducati growl lets loose, you’ll carve up some turns. Fuhgetaboutit.

The power is delivered to the rear wheel using an extremely cool APTC (Adler power torque clutch) — or, as the rest of us call it, a slipper clutch. You’re able to downshift hard without the worry of locking up the rear tire. Instead, the power is used to slow down the engine, making for a nice smooth transition. I found the APTC useful when entering turns a little hot. Kick it down a few gears, let the clutch lever out, and lean. There’s a little front-end dip, but the engine won’t redline, and best of all, there’s no skidding. This, along with the handling, was to me one of the best features on this new Duc.

The gauges are fully digital and fairly easy to read at a glance, both day and night. With a tripometer and the basic idiot lights, you’ll be well informed. I’m not a huge fan of digital tachs — I like to see the needle rise toward that redline — but I can’t really complain.

Suzuki and the rest better light their torches, grab some pitchforks, and try to drive this Monster out of town. Offering up superbike-quality brakes and handling with an awesome look that holds true to Ducati’s heritage for a starting price of $8,775, the new Monster 696 just may put a stranglehold on the competition.

Grrrrrrr! Monster good. RB

Tech Sheet

2009 Ducati Monster 696

List Price $8,775

Engine Air-cooled L-twin

Valvetrain Desmodromic, two valves per cylinder

Displacement 696cc

Bore x Stroke 88mm x 57.2mm

Compression Ratio 10.7:1

Fuel System EFI

Mfr Horsepower 80 hp

Mfr Torque Rating 50.6 ft-lbs.

Transmission Six-speed

Final Drive Chain

Overall Length 82.7"

Wheelbase 57.1"

Rake/Trail 24 degrees/NA

Seat height 30.3"

Fuel Capacity 3.8 gallons

Weight 355 pounds (dry)

Warranty Two years

2009 Colors Matte Black, Pearl White, red